♥●•٠ Jika benar aku mencintaimu♥˙·٠•●♥

Wahai diri..

Jika memang kau mencintainya karena Allah

Cintailah dia dengan cara yang benar

Cintailah dia pada saat yang tepat

Ya Robb..

Aku tak akan memaksakan diri hanya untuk sebuah perasaan

Ya Robb..

Jika dia memang jiwa yang telah Kau pilihkan untukku, berikanlah kami jalan dan petunjuk

Jika dia memang takdir bagi ku, pantaskanlah dia untuku dan pantaskanlah diriku untuknya

Ya Robb..

Aku memilihnya karena sebuah keyakinan..

Aku terima seluruh kelebihan dan kekurangannya..

Aku terima seluruh luka dan bahagia yang menyertai hidupnya..

Aku terima dirinya dengan seluruh apa yang telah Engkau berikan untuknya..

Ya Robb..

Jika ada dua pilihan dan diantaranya adalah dia, tentu aku akan memilihnya

Jika ada sepuluh pilhan dan diantaranya adalah dia, tentu aku akan memilihnya

Jika ada seratus pilihan dan diantaranya adalah dia, tentu aku akan memilihnya

Dan jika hanya ada satu pilihan, dan tidak ada dia dalam pilihan itu…

Maka aku pun akan menerimanya sebagai pemberian terbaik dari Mu…

Aku tidak akan memaksakan diriku untuk memilihnya

Karena Engkaulah yang Maha Mengetahui

Karena Engkaulah yang Menciptakanku

Karena Engkaulah yang Memelihara diriku

Ya Robb…

Jika dengan menutup cinta ini yang menjadikan Mu Ridho kepadaku..

Jika dengan mengorbankan perasaan ini Engkau menyelamatkanku..

Di saat manusia tergelincir dari jalan Mu..

Maka aku serahkan cinta ini untuk Mu..

Sebagai wujud baktiku pada Mu..

Sebagai wujud syukurku pada Mu..

Ya Muqollibal Qulub, Tsabbit Qolbi ‘ala Diinika..

(Wahai Allah Yang Membolak-balikkan hati, kokohkanlah hatiku diatas agamamu)

Aku yakin bahwa tidak ada Ketetapan Mu yang salah

Aku yakin bahwa semua Kehendak Mu sangat terukur

Buatlah aku mencintai pilihan yang Kau berikan

Buatlah aku setia pada pilihan yang Kau berikan

Buatlah aku menyayangi pada pilihan yang Kau amanahkan

Ya Robb..

Dengan segala Kekuasaan Mu..

Dengan segala Kekuatan Mu..

Dengan segala Keagungan Mu..

Hamba mohon pada Mu,

Kuatkanlah hati ini saat ketetapan Mu membuat hati ini terasa sempit..

Tenangkanlah hati ini saat ketetapan Mu membuat hati ini terasa berat..

Sesungguhnya hanya dengan pertolongan Mu, diri ini bisa menjalani semua ketentuan Mu.

Ya Robb buatlah diriku mencintai Mu lebih dari segala makhluk yang telah Engkau ciptakan

Ya Robb buatlah diriku mencintai Rosululloh, karena Engkau pun mencintainya(Rosululloh)

Inilah isi hatiku, inilah harapanku, inilah keyakinanku…

Aku tidak hanya mencintaimu..

Tapi aku ingin mencintaimu karena Allah..

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan cara yang benar..

Aku ingin Alloh Ridho dengan cinta ini..

Tak usah khawatir jika engkau adalah Qudrah dan Irodah Nya

Karena semuanya pasti akan terwujud

Hanya waktu yang akan menjadi saksi kekuasaan Nya

Tak usah memaksakan jika dia memang bukan untuk diriku

Karena pasti aku bukan yang terbaik untuk mu

Sehebat apapun cinta ini…

Tidak akan pernah bisa menyelamatkan kita,

Saat matahari hanya satu hasta di atas ubun2 kita..

Karena yang terbaik adalah…

Kita menjaga perasaan dan keyakinan ini dengan sebersih-bersih ketauhidan

Kita diwafatkan bersama hamba-hamba yang berbakti

Hamba-hamba yang mengorbankan sesuatu yang paling dicintainya untuk Tuhannya

Semoga Allah mempertemukan kita kembali disatu tempat

Dimana para abid melihat Robb-nya dengan penuh keridhoan dan kebahagiaan

Kulakukan semua ini, karena aku mencintaimu karena Allah swt.

Aamiin..

Kertas Putih

Lately, ramai yg berhenti kerja dan semakin ramai yang menghulurkan surat putih. Better offer katakan.
Aku plak terkedu-kedu stay kat sini xtau la sampai bila. Kalau di ikutkan hati seboleh-boleh nya nak berhenti 24 jam. Tapi, terfikir pulak kang berhenti xde kerja pastu menganggur. OMG, it would be never happen.

Arinie, would be my last day kerja sebab esok weekend and i would be on leave until tuesday. Owh, fyi i am going to Sabah. I am too excited. Just to have a little bit of rest since it's been a while never go elsewhere. So, seronok la pegi kerja arinie as if so happy getting married. lol

Dalam kegembiraan tu, tak sangka ada kesedihan. I would be never express my feeling toward something sad that tear me apart. For me i guess, the best way to express my feeling by writing. And that is what happen. My another ever best friend is going to leave me since she got a better offer. i was actually expected this but never to expect that this is too soon. At least aida dulu, i am prepared enough. Tapi illie, she is just too early to leave my world. This life circumstance is like fated for me to live alone.

Illie, or in another name that i used to call her as "ngek" is really nice person. A bad words never devastate her. She was tortured with a lot of speculation and she was stand still. I really solute her on how she withstands with those torments. Seriously, she is just too good to have a friend with. Well, it's so true most people said that a nice person will not be ever with us forever. i am just thinking how am i going to live my life without her. A lot of memory that we created together. A lot of story we shared together. We got a lot of secret. Every single secret that i told her, she kept well. Lepas nie, no one is willing to give me a ride to parking lot. No one will hear my story. No one will be able to finish my food as you are the only one that i love to share with. My sametime will not be blinking anymore. I wish that you will be there for me forever ngek but life is fated us to be apart. And for me to come over to work will not be as same as you are here.

A strong girl named Illeyean Maslan

I will never find your replacement ngek. You are the best for me. I am just hoping your future will shine as bright as you plan to be. And i will keep praying that you have a good life and healthy for the sake of your life. Till then friend. I will never forget you as you were my ever best friend that i just wanted to keep in my life forever.

My last goodbye ngek for you. we will hardly to see each other again. :'(

Again, I am alone.

This song is only dedicated to only you ngek.

Urineun Chingu

Ungkapan "Annyeonghaseyo" atau "Annyeong" will not be ever heard after all.

My best friend (Chingu) is moving to another workplace for her better life.
It's hard to say goodbye to my best friend since she is the only one I share the laughter and story. She is the only one i can talk about korea stuff. We have same interest. We like same music. We like same band group. We like sharing our opinion about Running Man. We like to watch drama together. But now, i am alone. The person that i used to call chingu is now another character in my Rapunzel. Again, i am alone.

Even though she is no longer be part of my life but i am so thankful to have her as my friend and we had shared our laughter and story a lot i guess. She is really can be trusted. She had created our memories a lot.

I can't remember when we get closer but all i can remember she never get mad or make any facial expression. She is always smiling when we met. It feels like just yesterday we know each other and today you are gone. It's so sad to let one of my best friend disappear from my world. She is just so real. Never being fake. Well, we are fated to be just for a moment. Just a moment. Only for about 1 and a half year. Maybe we will be able to see each other again in another place.

I hope she will not be a stranger if we ever meet. Guess, i can't write anymore. :(

"Joheun Chingu neun hangsang dangsineul haengbong hagehaneun"

 I wish you all the best in your future chingu. Naneun, jhommal jhommal bogo shippoyo.

Annyoung Chingu. Kombanwanyo.

KPOP

"Kenapa selalunya lelaki dan kpop tak boleh di relate kn?"

"Kenapa persepsi seseorang akan berubah sekiranya lelaki meminati kpop?"

If you were being me then you know how bad people torture you. To be kpop-ian it's really not easy. People will make a lot of perception. Even they are being judges, know well how to put you in which place or condemn you whatever they want.

For me, I started love korea when i watch Running Man ( http://kshowonline.com/category/2/running-man ) in 2010. I impressed by their culture. How manner they are. Even how beautiful their country is. I started to learn their language. It's so beautiful. That's all. ( Guess, the busan dialect is really unique.)

Bagi aku itu hanyalah minat seseorang dan tak perlu untuk meletakkan seseorang tu rendah pada tarafnya. Which is i guess people will know how sinful, if you are judging people wrongly.

So, for me, meminati kpop ni tak salah pun. Ada sesetengah orang maybe minat heavy metal, ade sesetengah orang meminati Jazz or blues. Tapi tak ade pun orang nk kutuk-kutuk.
Maybe disebabkan korea ni kalau lelaki je jambu-jambu, klau perempuan je mesti cantik-cantik. So what's wrong?

Ignoring people because i am in my own world.

"Hidup ni bukan orang sekeliling kita yang menentukan, tapi kita yang tentukan"

Aku rasa lelaki nie mesti fanatik giler dengan kpop sampai buat video reaction. So perlu ke kite nak kutuk-kutuk?

Rapunzel and Me

I enjoyed watching Rapunzel so much. But i just didn't realize that there is similarity between me and the character. Kalau nak di ikutkan it is just a cartoon. Tapi kadang-kadang it happen. And so realistic.

I am never thinking of having a blog or any related source to tell about my story. But it goes well like nothing happen. And that's it, my blog created after watching "Flower boy next door". Sebab tu aku ambil title as what it said. " Flower guy next door". Just tukar boy to guy since i am no longer teenager, guess so. 

Flower boy next door is Rapunzel in Korea version and more real.

Lepas tengok cerita tu. Aku boleh bayangkan how traumatic i am. Why? Sebab lock myself up dalam bilik without having fun or any influences from outside. Kalau cuti pun, i will spend all of my time dalam bilik watching movie or korean movie. Well, i am korean manic. Everything is korea. I do not watch TV although I bought 47" TV worth more than 5K. Waeyo? Because i am Rapunzel. I am in my own world. Kalau cuti 3 or 4 hari, selama tu jgk la aku akan duduk dalam bilik. Just keluar dari bilik bila time aku rasa lapar or nak minum atau solat. Weird right? Last time, i used to lock myself up for about 3 months. Sebab time tu tak keje and sangat-sangat depress.

Well, it's not about having hard time. Aku just nak bagitahu yang aku tersangatlah suka menyendirikan diri. I just love being alone. Dulu aku ade ramai kawan. Tapi aku boleh katakan kawan-kawan hanyalah ketika gembira je. Kadang-kadang i just miss those moment being with my friends. Lepak sampai pagi. Tapi bagi aku kawan datang dan pergi. It's just temporary.

So it's just me and Rapunzel that ever exist in my own world and the character that i created by my own.

Park Shin Hye is another character that i just created.

Deleted blog

Sorry guys sebab terpaksa delete blog Paranormal...

It was not my intention actually, just nak delete because we are no longer doing any activity even nearby. Rasanya sangat-sangat bersalah sebab banyak gambar-gambar yang ade dalam tu. Yet, those were our memories while ghosthunting. But then they are all gone now. Sorry once again guys, especially to Fahmi, Zam, Wandy and Sylvia. There are no more our memories black or white.

Well, i guess, i just miss all of you.

Susah nk digambarkan how strong our relationship before. but now everything has been disappeared. Dan semua orang pun dah ade life masing-masing. Wishing all of you are doing great.

I'll keep missing you guys, since all of you used to be part of my life.